It occurred to me that steak and chips is the one pre-Bert meal I really miss. There’s not much he won’t have a go at so, other than eating at 6pm, we don’t sacrifice much by eating as a family. Except a rare steak, fries and a green salad. So this is Me and Bert steak and chips. Just as nice and eaten in excellent company.

I didn’t take a photo of him eating it so here’s one of him really enjoying one of our new Monday morning adventure slots, where the two of us go off and do something fun together.

Serves 2

1 minute steak

1 steak for you – as large and expensive as you dare

A teaspoon of butter

A couple of potatoes

A selection of root veg – carrots, parsnips (beetroot? turnip? I may be pushing it now)

A tablespoon of rapeseed oil (or vegetable oil). Rapeseed oil gets very, very hot before it burns so makes excellent chips and roasties.

Bash the minute steak with a rolling pin, as if it’s responsible for every sleepless night you’ve ever had. This tenderises it to toddler specifications.

Cut the pototoes into small batons – about 1/2 a centimetre thick. A bit like McDonald’s fries. Par boil in boiling water for 2 minutes. As they’re cooking, cut the other root veg into the same size pieces. Drain the potatoes and give them a minute or two to completely dry as you heat the oil up in a baking tray on the hob. Toss all the veg in the oil and cook in a very hot oven (as hot as it will go) for about 25 minutes.

Melt the butter in a very hot frying pan. For me, an inch-thick steak at room temperature needs 6 minutes to be rare but not lively. Only turn once, in the middle of the cooking time. While it’s resting, cook the minute steak for one minute.

Serve with your condiment of choice. Bernaise sauce for me. Dribble for my Bertie. A green salad on the side for those of you who aren’t leaf avoiders.