We got back from a five-day family Christmas last night, happy but fat, with a car full of presents and hand-me-down clothes and, less happily, one car with a broken window and one with a shredded tyre.

After his bath I said to a warm, snuggled-in-a-towel Bert, ‘I’m so proud of how you were over Christmas; really friendly and polite.’

He thought for a beat or two.

‘And very funny,’ he said.

Serves 1.5

50ml double cream

50ml milk

2 eggs

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

3 slices brown bread, crusts removed

Knob of butter

Berries and honey to serve

Whisk the egg, milk and spices together, then soak the bread in it for a couple of minutes each side. Melt the butter in a frying pan and fry for a couple of minutes on each side (hot and quick, like you’d cook eggs) till golden brown and firm and springy to the touch.