Bert, determined sauce avoider, came home from pre-school raving about the ‘brown, bumpy sauce’ he’d had there. Questioning and detective work revealed it to be sausage casserole. Desperate for some sauce in our lives, I quizzed him intensely, thought hard about what makes the best sausage casserole (and what makes sauce brown and bumpy), did some research and tinkering and came up with this.
Meanwhile, Bert’s been perfecting his joke delivery technique.
‘What do you get if… [stage whisper] what is it? you put what is it??? boiling water down what is it??? rabbit hole?’
I don’t know, what do you get?
‘What is it??? Hot what is it??? bunny. Hot hot hot hot hot hot…hot hot hot… hot hot what is it??? hot hot hot… hot bunny hot hot hot what is it??? cross bun bunny.’
Stewart Lee has made a career out of this. But all we have is an uneaten portion of sausage casserole.
‘What is it? It is not brown bumpy sauce. It is not brown. What is it?’
He had pasta and Parmesan cheese, we had this.
Good glug of olive oil
1 onion, chopped
2 sticks celery, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 carrot, grated
2 tablespoons tomato puree
1 tablespoon Worcester sauce
1 pack chipolata sausages, cut into bite sized pieces
1 tin tomatoes
300ml chicken stock
1 dessert spoon dark brown sugar
1 red pepper, roughly chopped
1 teaspoon dried rosemary or finely chopped fresh rosemary
salt and pepper
Heat the oil in a large saucepan and soften the onions. Add the carrot, celery and garlic and cook gently till the carrot is soft and pale orange. Add the sausages and cook till browned. Then add everything else, bring to a fast simmer, reduce the temperature and cook for 30 minutes, stirring now and then.
Serve with pasta, buttery mash or crusty bread.