I’m enthusiastically looking forward to the day that Bert stops loudly announcing in public that ‘Mummy likes big ones’. He’s talking about dinosaurs, specifically my love of the Tyrannosaurus Rex genus.

That’s a soldier of bread at the front of the plate; the cake is being abused at the back.

Makes a 1kg loaf (about 20cm x 10cm x 7cm)

120ml whole milk

120g honey

40g butter

75g golden caster sugar

225 self raising flour

1/2 teaspoon all spice

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Good grating of nutmeg

Zest of two oranges (put the zested oranges in the fridge door and throw them away 10 days later)

100g chopped walnuts (we were lucky enough to have some fresh ones from next door’s tree) (given to us, not stolen)

120g fresh figs (the fresh ones give a bit more moistness and a lovely blush pink hint of colour, but you could used dried ones instead)

1 egg

Preheat the oven to 180/ gas mark 4.

Melt the butter, honey, milk and sugar together until the milk’s just about to come to the boil. Add the flour, spices, orange zest, fruit, nuts and egg and mix gently. Tip into a greased and lined loaf tin (approx 20 x 10 x 7cm) and bake for 25 minutes before turning the tin round and baking for about another 20 minutes – till the top is springy when you press a finger into it.

In the interests of honesty I’ll admit that Bert claimed this was ‘too nice’ without even trying it. I’m looking forward to a couple of slices in the morning.